Vegemite Croissant

Hi all. Bruce and I are Australians who have settled in the South of France. We’ve started this blog as a place to share our discoveries and frustrations about the whole process, with the hope that it might be useful (or at least amusing) to other people doing similar things. We’re going to try to keep our personal lives out of it (since there is already a blog for family and friends at alcorn.id.au). Basically, we’ll be noting things that are different, unexpected, tricky to understand or just plain interesting.

We’re a bit late to start writing this, since we’ve already been in France a while. But, we figure we’ll still have plenty to write about in the future.

Also, we’re already stretched over several blogs, so posts will be a little infrequent, but they’re guaranteed to be on topic. So, if that’s what you’re after then subscribe away (rss feed is here) and take things as they come. Enjoy!

Jour des crêpes: Chandeleur

Image via Wikipedia

Yesterday we had an unexpected plate of crêpes at choir. The French people there said they always do crêpes on 2nd February and thought that it was funny that we couldn’t quite explain when the Australian pancake day (Shrove Tuesday) was, since it moves around each year and neither of us had any idea when it was this year (Day before Lent, which starts 40 days before Easter. Apparently in 2010 Shrove Tuesday is on the 16th Feb).

Anyway, the pancake days aren’t quite the same. Same result, but different reasons (oh, and crêpes are better). The French celebration is from the Catholic Chandeleur in France. There’s a little speculation as to whether it’s also related to a pagan festival. There’s also lots of superstition involved. It’s an interesting celebration, for sure.

What’s also interesting is that Shrove Tuesday is an entirely separate event, held not long after Chandeleur and celebrated in much the same way in other parts of the world. My browsing on the subject of Chandeleur led me to find out a few other nifty, unexpected things about Shrove Tuesday.

The whole point of Shrove Tuesday is to stuff yourself full of rich foods before Lent. So people had/have huge parties, festivals to celebrate and fill everyone up to excess before the 40 days of behaving. This is supposedly the reason for words like ‘Carnival/Carnaval/Carnevale‘ (reasons given if you follow the link) and Mardi Gras, which literally means “Greasy Tuesday” and is commonly translated as “Fat Tuesday”.

Image via Wikipedia

It seems that the English, using the name “Shrove Tuesday” are the only people not naming the day along the lines of “Stuff yourselves silly and say goodbye to meat”. As for the name “Mardi Gras”, I can’t believe how many times I’ve seen those words and never translated the French. I also never once connected the carnivals and mardi gras festivals and thought that they had anything to do with religion. Go figure.

The French Paradox

I have put a little thought into the French Paradox since arriving in France. Michael Pollin’s book In Defense of Food: An Eater’s Manifesto has prompted me to articulate a little of what I’ve learned (but don’t always practise). Theories why the French, while living on rich foods, lots of oils, meats and wine, manage to stay healthy are varied and numerous. My own theory has perhaps been solidified by this book’s musings on omega-3s and leafy vegetables.

Personally, I like my veggies, dairy, pasta and rice. I like a bit of meat and fruit too. I’m not big on breads or desserts. I like wine and beer. I like to cook things myself and do so almost all the time. The French way of eating isn’t too far removed from my habitual one, but just enough so that I noticed a few things.

The French adore dessert. Dessert is a highly anticipated and somewhat revered part of most dinners. The desserts aren’t always sickly sweet – mostly they’re carb-heavy and slightly sweetened. I think the anticipation of dessert is what stops French people from over-eating throughout the meal. I mean, you don’t want to eat too much of the main course only to find you can’t fit in any dessert (as I do). It’s not only rude to the chef, but you’re missing out on something fabulous. There’s also cheese and more bread at the end of a meal. So, a French diner will happily graze on the meal with the full knowledge that dessert, cheese and more bread will fill any ‘gaps’ and ensure they’re not left hungry. Often when if comes to dessert you can only fit in a tiny bit anyway, but I think knowing it will be eaten changes the mentality of the diner for the rest of the meal.

French meals (both lunch and dinner) will start with an entrée of either salad or soup served with bread. Practically speaking, this gives you something to eat while the main course finishes cooking (salads are quick and soup can be re-heated). Nutritionally, both are vegetable and/or leafy-green heavy (in restaurants, you often get a little cheese, terrine or seafood in an entree too) and are often laden with oils or salt, so your body gets food it desperately needs (leafy greens and other veggies) before other things. The oils and salt help to tell your body that it’s eating and no longer hungry any more. Often I feel full after an entrée – this is the point. Your body has been tricked into eating all the most healthy stuff “just while you wait”. Depending on how many young kids are at the table, the main course can cook for quite a while longer while you eat the entrée. When you finally eat it, your stomach is settled. You’re no longer ravenous and you’ve gained some important nutrients. When a modest portion of main course arrives (usually meat-heavy with some veg – very rarely pasta or rice), you are left wondering if you can eat it all, rather than thinking it’s not enough. And then there’s still dessert.

Oh, and one only drinks wine with a meal. When the meal is done, French people don’t tend to sit around drinking wine into the night (as Australians do).

So, in summary, my personal mantra for which parts of the French diet are most beneficial to health:

- Always eat a large plant-based entrée (every meal) with enough flavour to stop yourself feeling ravenous.
- Only drink wine while eating the meal.
- Always plan a dessert just so that you know it’s there (even if it’s just yoghurt).

This post is an excerpt of my full review of Michael Pollin’s In Defense of Food: An Eater’s Manifesto on Goodreads (a social network for book reviews). If you’re interested in the book, see my full review here.

Sign up with France Telecom or there will be huge delays

We’ve come to learn a very important lesson about phone and internet in France – France Telecom have the monopoly on phone lines and if you have the audacity to sign up with one of their competitors, FT will ensure delays. The only way to guarantee swift connection is to sign up with FT themselves.

We didn’t realise this when we signed up for our phone/internet with Free. I’m writing this post in order to help anyone who might be searching for advice in the future. But, keep in mind that I’m angry and jaded. So, don’t just take my word for it – follow the links and hear the stories of others (it seems you can’t win no matter what you do). Oh, and also keep in mind that if you choose to sign up with France Telecom initially and then change to a competitor that you will pay FT for the privilege. Thus, giving the reason for this fiasco even more money.

Most of the phone cable in France is owned by France Telecom. There are some areas where the cable is owned by Orange, but the distinction isn’t really necessary since Orange is just France Telecom wearing a different hat. This means that France Telecom are almost completely in charge of one of France’s essential communications services. Most phone connections needs to go through France Telecom at some point in the paperwork. Paper correspondence is notoriously slow in France, which means FT are very powerful when it comes to causing delays.

It seems that if the tiniest thing is wrong with a connection application from a competitor, FT will be “unable” to connect the line, thus requiring paperwork to be sent back and forth again (slowly), plus the obligatory wait for a technician to be available to connect the service. It could be that France Telecom deliberately does this in order to create delays for their competitors. There’s a bit of a war going on between France Telecom and Free, plus France Telecom are often anti-competitive.

This is what happened to us (see my previous, more personal rant). Bruce chose to denote our house as “Unit x” instead of “Porte x” which FT has decided was the correct address. Nevermind that all our official paperwork says “Maison x” or “Villa x” (Bruce couldn’t find an option for either of those). Our application was thwarted by semantics. Even the France Telecom technician couldn’t convince them to just connect the line – He lives in the same group of houses and apparently had the same problem himself when he signed up with a competitor. FT even had the nerve to charge Free 55 € for this complete lack of service. We’ve been waiting 4.5 months for a phone line to be connected. Only then will we be able to get the broadband and TV service that we signed up for. At this rate our two-year contract will be up before the service begins.

To absolve FT of a little blame here, their competitors are also tediously slow with pushing the paperwork around, which doesn’t do the customers any good.

So, let’s see how difficult this line connecting really is. If we were to sign up with France Telecom directly they guarantee over the phone that they can connect us in 24 hours. This means they have technicians available and can quickly resolve any difficulties with the application paperwork. Amazing. Pity they can’t offer that to their competitors.

The only way the customer can be guaranteed some service is to sign up with the monopoly. Well done FT – You’ve proven yourself to truly be in charge. I honestly don’t know why the competitors bother.

Now, I have to say that Government decisions to privatise phone infrastructure are often made with a complete disregard for the state of communications in the future (hopefully other countries will learn from these mistakes). Most of these Governments also then allowed the new private giant to compete on a retail level while controlling the infrastructure. You fools! You have created a monopoly which will haunt you for years to come.

Australia has the exact same problem with Telstra as France does with France Telecom. It’s ridiculous. Telstra has had a little bit of an arse-kicking from Internode, being an ISP competitor with impeccable customer service and penchant for hassling the Government to monitor Telstra and prevent them engaging in anti-competitive behaviour. Free is France’s champion playing the same role as Internode, but they’re not all the way there yet.

This situation in France is widely accepted as “just the way it goes”. I’m willing to bet that over the next 10 years or so things will change. Why? Because all the millennials will finally flee the nest and try to set up their own houses. I can’t imagine these internet-hungry people resting quiet for 6 months while a monopoly deliberately delays the connection of their entire household communications and entertainment. No way! The only reason there’s not already riots about it is that most household owners in France are older and happy to keep their internet usage confined to the workplace.

So, France Telecom, watch out. The millennials are coming and they won’t stand for this.

Edit: We finally got internet at the start of December, just over five months after signing up. Five months!

If you’re reading this article, these links could also be useful to you (not mine, but compiled by me):

• Guide to setting up utilities in France
• Another guide to setting up utilities in France
• Contacting France Telecom’s English speaking helpline
• An English speaker’s guide to connecting phone lines in France
• English Speaker’s guide to getting phone and internet connected in France
• Americans in Toulouse guide to setting up phone lines in France
• Forum rants about France phone and internet connections
• A rant about why signing up with France Telecom is a crap idea (Seriously, you can’t win)
• Some legal guarantees by France Telecom.
• Some grumblings of an unhappy telco customer in Jordan who might possibly make you smile and realise it’s the same the world over.
• An immigrant’s ranting about the French Bureacracy (just to remind you about all the other things that need sorting out). She also throws in recipes to make you feel better.
• Article about Finland declaring broadband internet a right. Mocks me by reminding me that France actually deems internet access a right, too.
• Oh, and another one.

Working out French Freelancer Taxes

Image by blmurch via Flickr

I’ve spent most of today trying to make sure I had my freelancing tax obligations under control. I think that with the French freelancer tax reform only occurring in 2008, people are only just getting around to publishing useful information on how it works.

I had already registered as an auto-entrepreneur earning less than 32000 €, URSSAF have my details, I have a SIRET No & SIREN No.

I also have a big pile of junk mail that I find difficult to sort from the important mail, but that’s another story.

I have a few nice brochures from URSSAF which seem to say that during the first year all freelancers pay the same amount, since it’s unlikely that you’ll guesstimate the wage correctly anyway. There looks to be payments due to three sources: URSSAF, RSI and CIPAV (the bodies that collect for retirement, health and taxes).

What I was worried about was that I haven’t received any letters saying “Pay this tax” or whatever. I haven’t heard a peep out of CIPAV – I only know their name from the brochure.

So, I was wondering: What normally happens here? Do I get billed? Do I have to chase people up? Can these payments be taken from my bank account?

None of my French friends have any idea, since they’ve never freelanced.

But, all this confusion was before I found this wonderfully useful post by “This French Life”.

It led me straight to an English PDF of the Auto-Entrepreneur System which explains heaps of stuff about freelancing in France and the Auto-Entrepreneur Website (L’Auto-Entrepreneur) where you declare earnings and pay tax as a freelancer in France (register by SIRET number).

It’s EXACTLY what I wanted to know. Thanks to Alison from PBBS Translations for providing the translation. I know I’ll make good use of it!

Do you really need to bring the kitchen sink?

It should come as no surprise to you to find that the French rely on a completely different set of kitchen appliances to the ones used in other parts of the world. But knowing that doesn’t answer the question of what to bring with you when you move here.

If you have a crockpot (and like using it) then bring it with you. It’s extremely difficult to get them in France. Flat sandwich presses/grills (without grill lines) and jaffle-makers are impossible to find too. Microwaves, kettles, toasters, coffee-makers and rice-cookers can be found, but they will cost you a fair bit. Australians get electronic stuff very cheap. My advice for most things – If you can spare the space then bring it.

Image via Wikipedia

Check power guidelines for each appliance and compare with the French electricity standards. We brought lots of 4-point electrical plugs then bought French fittings for them from a hardware shop (wired by us). It’s a cheap and easy way (still safe) to easily keep using Australian appliances. Don’t do anything stupid. Get proper converters if the appliance will need it.

But it’s not all about bringing the old with you. We’ve happily discovered a dish which is a French favourite, the Swiss Raclette (read up on restaurant Raclette here). The French households generally use a dedicated appliance (shown) but it’s well worth the investment. This machine is a crispy meat-making, cheese-melting haven of deliciousness. That’s why almost all French homes have one.

Webform nuisances and 3G USB internet

Image via Wikipedia

I’ve been searching for a 3G USB key (Clé) for sporadic internet access. I thought I’d share a little about what I learned, as this is a fairly normal thing for travellers and new residents to want, since travelling and unstable housing doesn’t really lend itself to reliable internet access.

The two main providers are Orange and SFR. Both have contract and non-contract versions available and all of the options are fairly pricey. Now, I’m not going to discuss relative figures because they change. But, be warned about the contracts. One contract I saw said “30 € for 6 months” in big letters followed by “and then 40 € for 24 months” in fine print. So, read it over several times before you sign.

In non-contract options it’s wise to note that SFR top-ups need to be used in 15 days, whereas Orange top-ups last a month. This was a huge selling point for me, since the top-ups from either place have inspired me to limit my usage to 5mins at a time and stretch each top-up over the maximum time possible. Also, SFR don’t bother to mention if their USB keys work with Macs or not (since you can choose the USB key yourself – and pay for that on top). I’ve heard most of the USB keys are made by the same manufacturer and don’t work with Macs even when they say they will. I also tried one that said it would work and failed. Orange clearly state that their USB keys are plug and play for Mac or PC, so I’m really hoping they tested that before they wrote that on their site.

When trying to buy my USB key, I got stuck when the webform asked for my “département de naissance” and would only accept a French answer (in a required field). I gave up in disgust and when I came back to try again the USB key cost an extra 50 €. After chatting to the lovely online help person it turns out the right answer for foreigners is ‘99′. I’m posting this here in the hope that it’s a standard answer and might help someone else in the future.